Three weeks ago today I was crossing the finish line of my first Ironman. It feels like a lifetime ago and it feels like yesterday. I already struggle to believe I was ever fit enough to complete the distance. I’ve so far avoided the biggest problem most people seem to get which is the post ironman blues, although I know i’m not out of the woods yet. I can totally see how it happens, you dedicate most of a year to acheiving this goal and all of a sudden, it’s gone. Acheieved, yes, but still gone.

Where is there to go once you’ve acheived the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced?

It’s a question i’ve been asked a lot too, lots of times by many people. It’s great in a way that people think i’ll be looking at some other big challenge, but it can be difficult to answer. What do I do next?

The ironman wasn’t some huge lifelong dream for me. It was something I got really interested in last year and 12 months later it’s done. I’m definitely not ruling out another one, to be honest I had kind of hope that would be it. I’d do it, it would be incredibly difficult, but that would be it. It really has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It’s given me a belief that anything is possible. If I want to acheive something, all I need to do is write it down make a plan, then do the steps. It’s made me understand a little more what motivates me and taught me that i’m not the lazy person I think I am. I’m not going to call myself lazy, when I’m not training I’m just looking for the right thing to focus on! The weather on the day makes me think I can go quicker, as does my lack of experience on the bike. If it hadn’t been so hot, I think i’d have gone sub-4 in the marathon. I think 11:30 would be a realistic goal if I did it again.

So I’m not ruling out doing another one, but it’s not going to be anytime soon. The pressures the training put on me and Philippa were tough. Whilst most of the training was great, I really can’t put Pilla through the lost weekends again soon. Pilla didn’t sign up to the endurance event obsessed me and I don’t think it’s fair to unilaterally decide to spend all our money and time on an event for me. I’ve been blessed with an amazing wife and best friend who has been an unbelievable support through this whole thing and now there is some payback time.

I’ve trained a little, a run here and there and i’ve been cycling into work, but nothing huge. I’m definitely not stopping training though. A week ago I entered a local half marathon with the aim of just running gently to run off some of the ironman fatigue. As soon as I got to the car park, put the running kit on I fired myself up to go quickly. I was feeling pretty crappy with some stomach issues prior to starting but I felt pretty strong still. I ended up kicking on to a 1:36:36 half marathon, which is about 6 minutes faster than I’ve ever been. For the first time ever I felt pretty quick and I loved it.

So what’s next? Well ‘Project Philippa’ is about to begin which is going to be about getting Pilla fit through running and circuits and that is going to be fun :).

And for me? Well, I want to get quicker. How quick? Well, having just done an Ironman, anything is possible….

I’m really sorry, this is very long! I just wanted to remember it as much as I could…

03:40
The alarm goes and I jump out of bed. I had an ok sleep but was up a few times in the night, probably went a bit OTT with the hydration yesterday. I knew it was going to be hot so was drinking a lot of water, some with electrolytes and mixed it in with a beer to for relaxation! I’m sort of shaking with excitement now. This is the day. I got Philippa to write ‘Smile!’ on one hand and my awesome inspirational friend Viv to write on the other. Viv wrote ‘Today is it! Give it EVERYTHING!’. After 7 months of training I’m definitely going to.

04:15
On the way to the venue just as the sun is rising. It’s going to be a spectacular sunrise and a beautiful day. Really way too warm to be outside for hours (I’m ginger – an hour is too much), but it is what it is. I had my phone plugged into the car, turned the volume up and shouted along to Born To Run. I park up and walk to the rowing lake the view is amazing as the sun is just over the far end of the rowing lake. It’s pretty warm already and I’m not cold in a tshirt and shorts.

05:15
I get changed into my wetsuit and get chatting to a really nice Scottish guy. He gives me a few tips and is generally very positive, as is everyone else I chat to. Later on at the end he recognises me in a finishers tshirt and says ‘great effort today mate well done!’. The atmosphere at these long distance triathlons is really lovely, it’s difficult to explain as by rights everyone should be super stressed and anxious. If they are, no one is showing it. I bump into Michael and Sid from twitter (Sid is doing the event in a morphsuit. Absolute legend). I bump into Nic and her crew too, we plan to meet at the start but it didn’t really work out because as soon as they open the gates to get near the lake I want to be in there. I wasn’t sure where to place myself, the start is a mass start so all 1000+ competitors start at the same time, the faster swimmers off to the left. I go at the front of the second group. I do a few practice swims to get comfortable breathing and we’re just about ready. I wish some people around me good luck and the starters get the competitors fired up. “The next noise you’ll hear is the start!”. There’s nothing left to do, all the hours of training, of flogging myself on the turbo, of missed friends birthdays and parties and not seeing my wife at weekends. Or mornings. It’s for this moment and this day. Give it everything Neil.

6:01
Well this is ok. No one swam over me, no one is kicking me, I’m not bumping into too many people, this is fine. I keep telling myself to enjoy this, before you know it it’ll be done. I’m trying to ‘stay in the moment’, that is to not wish away the whole day thinking ‘in 90 minutes I’ll be done and onto the bike’. It’s a long swim marked out with bouys but you can’t really go wrong-it’s up the rowing lake, almost to the end and then back. As the swim goes on I’m still feeling ok, I get quite a lot of room by swimming in close to the side and out of the main crowd. This is slower than slip streaming but it does make me feel nice and relaxed. As I started counting down the little huts every 500 metres on the side of the lake, that is my main feeling. I’m telling myself to remember it too, very shortly you’ll be done and you might never do an ironman swim again. I run through the mental checklist the swimming coach gave me. Start with body position, head position, hand placement, reach, drop the elbows, push through the stroke, high elbows. Repeat. Before I know it I can see the finish line. All those Sunday swimming lessons, the early starts, the freezing May sessions in Salford Quays, and it’s almost done.

07:14:30 (1:14:30 for the swim)
We get to the ramp and get helped out because the ramp is a bit slippy. Done!

07:15
Into the transition and everything is going just fine until my bike top get stuck as I put it on. I’ve got gels in the back pocket and they kind of twist round and stick. Aargh, this is annoying! I waste a couple of minutes sorting it out and pull my shoulder doing it. Idiot!

07:20:40 (6:10 for the first transition)
Onto the bike. It’s warm already! My stomach is doing funny things. I don’t know if it’s the open water swimming or being tucked up into the aero position on the bike or nerves or what. All I know is that it goes after an hour or so, until then I’ll just drink water and lucozade and hope for the best. All this time, ever since reading Chrissie Wellington’s book I’ve dreaded stomach issues today. It’s going to be hot and I know I need to keep drinking. I’ve read about the importance of nutrition plans but I still don’t really have one. I’ve got 6 gels, malt loaf, sausages, energy drinks and water. I plan on eating more of the real food at the start and move to gels then fluids gradually.

After half an hour or so I see Viv cheering from the side. Viv and Jerry came down from Manchester yesterday to support Nic and I and here they are at 7:30 supporting on the side of the road. I was expecting to see them but not this early and it really cheered me on. The bike course is very rural and made up of a southern loop, a northern loop and then repeating the southern one again. We pass through a little village and people are out already, which is pretty amazing. Later on this village is absolutely buzzing and it’s great because we get to go through it four times. I try to say thank you to everyone that claps, it’s impossible at this point though, so I settle for the thumbs up on the aero bar position!

Thinking through the food and the day is really making the time fly. I’m figuring on about 7 hours for the bike in the heat but I pass the halfway point in just over 3. Faster than the half ironman a few weeks back. Now there is a different worry – that I’m burning myself out. I keep checking in with my heart rate and it looks fine so I carry on.

The food thing is working ok, with the addition of a few bananas from the feed station. I’m drinking a lot, mixing up water, energy drinks and the food, spaced out regularly but really just choosing the ones I feel like at the time. I’ve never been a huge fan of gels and I worry about taking a lot of the gels on a hot day, that seems like stomach issue central to me. I’m mentally checking off the food stations and the loops. I see Jerry and Viv a couple more times and each time it pushes me on a bit.

I was expecting to start feeling sore from the bike from about 3hours or so, but it’s not happened yet. Each time I pass someone clapping I say thanks, it still blows my mind people will stand out for hours clapping and supporting total strangers do these events. Especially with that sort of weather. The couple of times I stop I notice how warm it is without the breeze the bike creates, it’s a full on scorcher now. I’ve dreaded getting a mechanical issue on the bike for months, as the miles tick up I start relaxing about this. I do a lot of maths on rides thinking about finish times, pacing, when I go through quarters. I start thinking about at what point I’ll only have an hour of cycling left, which is 95 miles.

Pilla sorted me a little spray bottle of P20 sunscreen to reapply on the ride. As I was spraying it on my arms and face (tsk, non-handed) I cruised past a guy tucked up down on the tri bars. I still giggle at what this must have looked like to him!

At the last roundabout on the southern loop there is a women cheering really enthusiastically from the middle of the road. She’s been there, in the sun, for at least 6 hours at this point. Unbelievable! I say thanks for the fourth time to her! All through the ride I’m mentally checking off the amount of time until I see the lake cheering crew. It’s a huge boost mentally.

13:38:38 (6:17:58 for the bike)
Through what feels like a huge crowd I get to transition at the end of the bike ride. I spot the omnipresent Jerry and Viv (loved seeing them on the ride so much) and Viv shouts that Pilla is just down the road. As usual I hear her before I see her and it’s a huge shot in the arm! I can’t really believe I’m doing this, but I’m two thirds of the way through an Ironman. The change tent is a bit like a sweaty sauna. More suncream, shoes on, top on. Just a marathon to run. It’s 29C and there is little shade on the run. Give it everything!

13:46:13 (7:35 for the second transition)
I jog out of the tent and my legs feel, well, ok. Much better than I thought they would. I hear my dad cheering on from the side. Quite a few family and friends came down to cheer me on which amazes me so much. To stand around for hours to cheer you on, when they might see you for like 30 seconds in the whole event. It makes me proud thinking about it and I love them all for coming. I can hear Pilla from the other side of the lake! I get round and the group are going crazy stood a little way along the bank at the bottom of the lake. I high five Pilla (“just a quick marathon to go!!”) and get on it. My first miles are ok, I walk through the first few feed stations but I’m moving. Because of the heat I wore a buff to keep cool water on my head and neck. Looks stupid, but is very effective.

It’s very hot. I mean stupid hot. I’m ginger. Hot weather scares me. Just keep going Neil. I got through to about 7 miles before my legs started screaming at me. My quads were done in. It hurt to run, I started walking and it hurt to walk. Towards the end of the ride I felt a bit of cramp in my hamstring. Uh-oh. All through the run I feel bouts of cramp all up my calves and hamstrings. It’s not fun. Good lord it’s hot!

The course loops round the lake twice and then out along the river bank and back twice. The loop out is hard. The volunteers at food stations are incredible. Supportive, helpful, happy to see you. I can’t thank them enough. On the way back round, at maybe 13 miles I see the full group of supporters again, the noise they are making is amazing! I’m running but it’s hurting and I’m taking more walking breaks than I want. I’m really making deals with myself now, just run to that point, this field, that feed station. I’d love to say I had some inspirational mantra to keep going, in reality it was really just ‘keep going Neil you idiot’ (the language might have been stronger). I saw someone I know from twitter who is crazy quick (James) and I talked to him. He was clearly in a world of pain. There were grunts, there were stuttered words, there was obvious pain. And yet he was running faster than me. The weird thing about this ironman run is that if you make it in good time on the bike you’re going to make the cut off, yet here are all these people pushing themselves to the edge. He was the perfect example. He muttered something about being in a dark place and carried on. He could barely speak. Later on I wonder why people do this at all, why people don’t just take shortcuts on the run, why so many push to the edge of exhaustion, or heatstoke, or carry on after being sick all through the run and I don’t have a good answer! I saw a couple of other twitter folk, Michael, Stu and Sid and each time we high fived or hugged or just cheered each other on.

I get to about 20 miles and it’s hard. I think I can probably creep in at about 5hrs if I can just keep moving at about 12-13 minute miles. This is barely moving for me, it’s a shuffle and I cannot do it. I’m walking. A lot. A guy shuffles past me and tells me to get get moving. I tell him I can’t but something clicks and I run with him for a bit. We talk, about the weather, to the other competitors, whatever. He keeps my mind off what I’m doing which is helpful. I don’t know who he was but that last 6 miles would have been a disaster without him. As I come back towards the lake I see Nic’s top about 100m ahead. She’s a little behind me on the course and I wonder if running with me for a bit might help (like the guy did with me). I want to catch her but it’s probably the slowest overtaking move ever! I’m closing the distance at about the speed fingernails grow. Eventually I catch her and she is looking strong, suffering from stomach issues but she has this in the bag. Chatting to her really helped take my mind of the pain happening in my legs and before I know it I’m back at the lake for the full wilko cheering squad noise. Half an hour to the finish. Half an hour!!

Viv runs with me up the lake, she’s cheerful and chatty and telling me how awesome the whole thing is. I love this! I’m going to do it, just keep moving. This takes my mind of the whole thing again and as I round the top of the lake I know I’m only 2km from doing this. I resolve to run the whole way. I can’t. I hurt everywhere. I’ve eaten a bit of fruit on the run, but mostly crisps and coke. I don’t know how or why it’s possible to do a marathon on this combination but it’s worked. I go mad at the last food station and have a Jaffa cake. Crazy days!

 

It’s a long run to the finish, I’m counting down down the huts as I pass-1500m, 1000m. I get to 500m off the finish, feeling a little emotional and boooooom, my legs enter full on cramp mode. Oh god this hurts, but then the crowd are there and there is Pilla and everyone’s cheering. Pilla is running with me and everything from the soles of my feet to my back is burning with cramp but I’m trying to keep going. And then there is the tape, and the clock, and the crowd and… ‘Neil Wilkinson, you are an OUTLAW!’

18:39:40 (4:53:26 for the marathon, 12:39:40 total)
Relief.

18:39:50
Pilla asks if I’m ok. I can’t talk. The helpers ask if I’m ok, I still can’t talk. Pilla has to go up the steps and go and I stumble through to the drinks at the end. I have some coke. First words after finishing were a very sweary mixture. I get my medal (the most beautiful medal I’ve ever seen) and up the stairs to get some food. Stairs! Going up them is bad, coming back down is so painful it’s almost funny. I get some food, sit at a table and before I know it I’m full on crying. Not just teary eyed, but full head in hands, head on table blubbing. A volunteer checks I’m ok and him being so nice makes it worse! It’s ok, I should get this out before I see my family and friends (at this point I remember to put my sunglasses on when I went out so they couldn’t tell anyway!).

It’s the hottest day of 2013. And I’ve done an Ironman. Someone get me a beer!

I’m really glad Pilla came running down the line. I was on the course but she was cheering the loudest, she’s had to put up with my non-stop talking, moaning, training, spending money and weekends of triathlon. She’s been incredible and deserves a medal as much I do.

The support from everyone of Facebook and Twitter was incredible too, I saw someone else mentioned they felt like a celebrity which sums it up pretty well. The amount of good luck and well done messages was incredible, I know a few people who were stalking the tracker site all day (I’m very happy it’s not just me that does this) was amazing too. Thank you all!

I’m in week 30 and the final few days of training. I’m sorry for this post, it’s probably a little self indulgent. Here goes.

I’m not a natural sporty person. I started running about 6 years ago, at about the same time I started playing football. I was rubbish at football, but figured if I was a bit fitter at least I could keep up with play a bit more. I also walked Pilla to the start of the Manchester 10km one year and being near the start and feeling the atmosphere I remember thinking ‘I’d like some of this’. The first few runs were dreadful, hardly getting to a mile. I struggled with shin splits and sore calves, I had loads of niggles. Every time I went out I hurt in a different place. Sometimes my knees, then my back, then my thighs. I trained for three months for that 1st 10km and did a lung bursting 55 minutes.

I loved it.

Running has never been easy for me. I’m not one of those skinny runners with the long legs in short shorts and vest tops that seem to glide over the path. I work for every run and every mile I do. I don’t posses any talent for running but I’m a stubborn little bugger. It’s never really got easier for me, I just get a little bit faster. I’ve never really been able to stick to any sort of training plan. I’ve done three marathons and cracked a sub 4 once, on my first attempt and never got close again. So I sit here, looking back at my training and all I can think is ‘bloody hell’.

This week, fingers crossed i’m going to complete an Ironman triathlon.

I remember talking to the iron colleague probably 18 months ago thinking I could never do this. I can’t follow the plan, I’m not great at running, I can’t swim well. I don’t have the time. Its just a dream, i’ll never be that person. I did the London Marathon last year and thought I’d never get running again it was so horrible. And here I am, just a couple of swims, a couple of runs and session or two on the bike away from getting to the start line of a pretty huge event.

And if there is one thing I’ve learnt in all of this training it’s that getting to the start/putting on your trainers/getting out the door is the hardest bit.

So, over the last 30 weeks or training, I have done:

• 2307 miles of cycling
• 721 miles of running
• 65.6 miles of swimming
• For a total of about 3094 training miles
• I’ve completed 243 of the 290 training sessions (with a handful to go)
• This will be about 85% of the plan
• This works out at a little over 8 sessions a week
• 18,230 minutes of training
• Which is about 304 hours
• This has averaged at about 10.5 a week
• In that I’ve burnt approximately 230,000 calories
• Which works out at an extra 1160 or so a day (no wonder I’m eating a lot)

Whilst I wouldn’t say I’ve loved every minute, I’ve loved most of it. And I’m sure as hell going to enjoy Sunday. Looking back at one of my first posts here about my goals I said these were my aims for the day:

Swim. 2.4 miles. 1hr 30.
Bike. 112 miles. 7hrs.
Run. 26.2 miles. Sub 5.

With transition and race day faff that is a 14 hour finish.

I’m addition:

Enjoy it
Remember it
Smile

What’s the point in doing it if I don’t at least try to appreciate and enjoy the experience?

Those are still my aims. I’m not fussed about the times, I’ll be happy with anything and be ecstatic with the ones above, but it’s the last three I’m going to focus on. In getting through the training I think I’ve done more than I thought possible, so on the day it’s all just a bonus. Let’s do this.

I’m going to be honest, week 29 did not involve a lot of training. I did a run, a bike a swim and then disappeared off to Glastonbury for a week.

And it was awesome!

I wrote earlier in the week about the strange mood swings I’m having, which I know is really normal at this time but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m being very annoying to Philippa who despite witnessing me doing all the training now has to put up with my concerns about having not done enough. I hear myself being annoying but I can’t help it!

This week was actually pretty tough. It’s a mental thing – you focus so much on the hard weeks that you automatically class anything that isn’t that hard as “easy”. This week wasn’t easy! You get sucked into thinking tapering is going to be easy but you still have to get out there and do it and that is the hard bit. The week was also made a little more difficult by our car setting on fire on Monday when Pilla was driving it meaning we’ve had to fit in trying to sort that out (it’s all fine, new car arriving Tuesday), and driving to sort out Glastonbury things for next week.

Speaking of Glastonbury, I know it’s ridiculous to be going away for pretty much a week the week before an Ironman, but there you go. I’m also not going to be doing any training (I know, living on the edge) but I’m not going to be that guy running around Glastonbury at 6 in the morning! The compromise we made is that we sorted out borrowing a camper van so we’ll be doing it in relative luxury :).

The start of the week went ok, but getting on the bike on Thursday was a bit of a nightmare. I got up, realised I hadn’t charged my Garmin and managed to fall asleep waiting for it to charge. I woke myself thinking I was just going to skip my session, but before I knew it I convinced myself to just get ready and get on the bike. Once going, I don’t really stop so I got it done.

The weekends training was supposed to be a 4hr ride, but due to some crazy winds yesterday it took way longer than I planned, coming in at just over 5. I didn’t enjoy it at all, it was a grim route, it was windy and I had to set off late in the day. That is a bad a combination, and the ride took ages. Whenever I have bad sessions I put them in a bucket called ‘mental toughness training’. I’m going to pull those out on the day when I go through those bad patches and use them to keep myself going. I finished the week with a 2hr run today, which was a bit of a slog but I did it. One of my friends asked today if I was winding down for the day, you know you are doing crazy sessions still when you winding down weekend is 7 hours of training! I also crossed a little milestone, hitting 3000 miles of training miles this week :D.

So next week I have a weird week because of Glastonbury, no rest day till Thursday and then fours days off. And then, when I get back, we’re in the final week.

Gulp.

I’m not worried, not at all…….

 

What I did this week:

[table]Day,Type,Time,Details
Monday,Rest,,
Tuesday,Swim,0:45:00,#16
Tuesday,Running,0:45:00,”Z2 (at 0:10, insert 3 x 6 min Z4 @ 2 min jog)”
Wednesday,Cycling,0:45:00,Z2 (QC)
Wednesday,Running,0:30:00,Z2
Wednesday,Swim,0:45:00,#17
Thursday,Cycling,1:00:00,”Z2 (at 0:40, insert 15 min Z4)”
Friday,Running,1:00:00,”Z2 (at 0:40, insert 10 min Z4)”
Saturday,Cycling,5:10:00,”Z2 (at 3:45, insert 10 min Z4) (QC)”
Sunday,Running,2:00:00,Z1 to Z2
,Total,12:40:00,[/table]

Special midweek blog edition to explain some of my current, some what ridiculous mood swings.

I have been training now solidly for 27.5 weeks. On Sunday I finished my longest week with my longest and fastest ever training run. I was on top of the world. Someone following the same plan as me tweeted ’27 weeks done – I couldn’t have done anymore’, and I felt exactly the same. I’ve barely missed a run or a ride, I’ve given it my all in every session. Every high intensity session hit, every mile run, every hill climbed. Every time I finished a Sunday swim class and could hardly pull myself out of the pool. I’ve miraculously not been injured or got poorly. It couldn’t have gone any better.

 

And yet…

 

And yet today I’ve spent a lot of time thinking I’m not ready for this.

Wondering how I can possibly run a marathon after a 112 mile bike ride.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking I could be doing more training.

I had to fight myself to get on the bike and go running today.

I’m looking at the event with apprehension. Can I do this? Do I want to do this?

And then, with less time than it takes to get out of a wetsuit I flip around a hundred and eighty degrees and I get that ‘I’ve worked so hard for this, I’m ready’ feeling. Right now it’s fleeting, it comes in waves, I’d love to pin it down.

 

But I can’t. Yet.

 

So this is just a quick reminder to yourself Neil.

 

You’ve trained for this. You’re ready.

 

(Now go and enjoy the last weeks you idiot!)